Daily Laugh-A-Lot

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Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Sevena » Sat Nov 10, 2012 9:17 am

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Last edited by Sevena on Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Volkodlak » Sat Nov 10, 2012 12:01 pm

i was in kinda funny-dangerus situation today.

situation:

my airsoft club had a frendly match but one hiker ended on our playground and saw kidnaping scenario and called police and then hell brake lose swat, police, k-9 units, helicopters and negotiator and it wasnt funny. first we saw swat and we think they are our enemys but luckly helicopter came and we lowered wepons and start wawing with white flag because we dont have helicopter and we realize they are real deal in the end it was wery funny for police some were wery intrested in our guns.

result:10 new club members and hiker ending in troubles
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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Uniform Two Six » Sat Nov 10, 2012 2:05 pm

lovec1990 wrote: in the end it was wery funny for police some were wery intrested in our guns.
I can beat that.

My Reserve unit isn't anything special, but we've got a semi-sensitive site in our area of responsibility. This thing is protected by a full-time unit, but we're tasked to back them up in the event of a national emergency of some sort. So -- although we're not a special weapons team by any stretch of the imagination, somebody higher up decided to assign us to do tactical training as part of our one-weekend-per-month drill. First go around, our OIC tries to get time on some MILES gear. Basically this means we screw a little cap on the muzzle of an M-16 so that it will cycle properly when firing blanks. Then you mount a laser/transponder device to the weapon. Basically it's over-the-top LaserTag. Word comes down that there's not enough money in the budget, to which our OIC apparently responded "the Defense Department doesn't have enough money for AA bateries?! Seriously?"

Next time around they set their sights a little lower. Simunitions. Basically these are ammunition cartridges which fire chalk and supposedly require very little modification of the weapons. Word comes down that there's no money in the budget for this either.

Next month after this, the word goes out to the unit. Anybody who has airsoft or paintball guns, bring them.
:roll:

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Sevena » Tue Jan 01, 2013 10:58 am

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Last edited by Sevena on Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Volkodlak » Sat Jan 26, 2013 7:04 am

i was having fun with my 20 years old car and got myself stuck in mud and asking my friend with tractor too pull me out. result :
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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Sevena » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:41 pm

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Last edited by Sevena on Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Uniform Two Six » Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:14 pm

Oh my god, that's hilarious. Although I would have found it funnier if after the work crew had "islanded" the car, the cops had come along and booted the car for illegally parking just for good measure (but only because I'm evil). :evil:

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Terastas » Mon Feb 04, 2013 1:38 pm

This wasn't recent, but I feel like sharing it anyway.

When I was working at the convenience store one time, this woman and her little daughter came in, and while Ms. Mother-of-the-year was at the counter having me ring up her cigarettes and beer, the kid was wandering around unattended and went up to this display case full of cheap Chinese plastic crap, took something off of it and said "Mommy, I want this."

This, of course, began the long process of her telling her to put it back, with the kid saying, in whinier and whinier tones "I want this" over and over again.

More than once, the kid's mother gave out the usual threat of "Put it back or I'm leaving you here."

And the kid wasn't budging, so after I'd rung everything up and checked her out, I leaned over the counter and said "Hey come on kid, listen to your mother. Don't make the same mistake that I made."

And yes, she did put it back. :grinp:
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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Sevena » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:23 am

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Last edited by Sevena on Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Meeper » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:56 am

I'm not sure this is a corker, and it's not so recent now, I met my bro and niece in town a little while back, I rode in on my bicycle, they came by scooter and had left it parked somewhere. My business was done for the time being so I was trailing around with them, walking the bike with me as we went.

Out of nowhere seemingly, this old woman descends on us with her wit (and I have to paraphrase heavily here, I can't recall her exact words) "What you doing boy? Bicycles are meant to be ridden!", we looked at each other, and I answered this intrusion loud and comically clear, my expression and demeanor one of mildly startled amusement, as if to announce it to the universe itself for being so peculiar as to permit such an event to occur within my little bubble of existence "That was the weirdest thing that's happened to me all year!", we all laughed, and probably got lots of strange looks, but the weird seemed bigger than all of us and the mundane eyes looking on, I don't think any of us cared, we walked away on a high :D .

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Volkodlak » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:18 am

i had one funny moment this morning:

i was driving home in heavy fog you didnt see 5 meters ahead so i drove slowly then i notice headlights from behind tuned honda come close too me so i turn off rear fog lights,but this guy came closer too my bumper i didnt even saw his headlights anymore he was tailgating me so ignore him and focus on road ahead for 15 minutes he was driving behind me,but ahead was T type intersection so you have too chose left or right but if you go straight there are farm fields so i was thinking if i should test how much guy behind me watch road himself so i ignore intersection and drove straight into fields and guy behind me followed me onto fields.

result: thanks to my 4WD jeep i made it out of fields other guy didnt and he even damaged his car so much they had to tow his car too service.
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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Uniform Two Six » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:01 pm

I had a similar sort of thing happen to me a while back. The one down-side to the Sierra Nevada Mountains, is that you've got some serious snow in the winter (this is the same general area that the Donner Party got socked in for a season and wound up eating each other, once upon a time), but you're in California, so nobody has a clue about driving on snow and ice. So, anyway, I'm tooling along at about 25 in a 40 zone (because that's what you do when you're driving on a skating rink with sharp turns). Then this moron comes roaring up behind me and starts honking his horn because he's ticked I'm 15 MPH under the posted limit. I've got a couple of stickers on the back that make it plain that I'm a local (so maybe I actually know what I'm doing), but this guy starts flipping me off in between honks. Finally, he decides to pass me (on a double line, which he can't see), and flips me off again as he goes by -- just as we come up on a particularly sharp turn. He spins out about 90 degrees before he plows into the snow bank at over thirty miles per hour. Stupidity is its own reward.

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Meeper » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:08 pm

Man with big head, not get enough oxygen to brain :lol: .

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While the empty can may rattle the most, of equal or potentially greater import is what the reputably quiet cans are really full of.
All names are but souvenirs, in the end. Make good of your stay, so that they hold happy memories ~ Some guy.
Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something.
To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Uniform Two Six » Mon Sep 23, 2013 10:10 pm

Yeah, the altitude was probably a contributing factor in his idiot-hypoxia. :D

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Volkodlak » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:02 pm

Ok,

today at 01:00 some horny invidual from USA(country code was +1) send me sms with picture of him being naked in his room and asking me something about his manhoodnes i do nothing i go back too sleep another sms from same guy at 01:30 with sex content after last one i put my phone into silent mode.
At morning three new sms from same guy and one with picture of his manhood other two with sex content but 30 min ago i recive sms from same guy with just UPS writen in it.

he kinda missed not just his girlfriend number, but also country this is my second incident with sms from diffrent country first one was from UK asking when school excursion starts how can you make such a miss my country code is +386?
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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Uniform Two Six » Thu Oct 02, 2014 1:35 am

First off: That's hilarious.

Second: I have no difficulty believing this a**-douche was an American.

Third: I bet I know the practical reason he called Slovenia by accident. I bet he was trying for an area code (three digits), and added an extension number on the end. If you're dialing an extension, even from a cell phone, you (usually) have to add the country code first. If you don't, you wind up dialing a country code instead of the area code.

Fourth: I would love to see the look on his face when he gets his phone bill at the end of the month.

Fifth: You should totally post all of the pictures he sent on Flickr or something with the tag line: "For a good time, call..." and leave his phone number.

:evil:

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Re: Daily Laugh-A-Lot

Post by Volkodlak » Thu Oct 02, 2014 2:51 am

Uniform Two Six wrote:
Fourth: I would love to see the look on his face when he gets his phone bill at the end of the month.
forget the bill i would like too see his face when he figured up that he send all too wrong person

as for his pictures i deleted them he made a mistake im not that mean too do something like posting his pictures on internet
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